O Lord, make me know my end and what is the measure of my days; let me know how fleeting I am! Behold, you have made my days a few handbreadths, and my lifetime is as nothing before you. Surely all mankind stands as a mere breath! Surely a mand goes about as a shoadow!
I desperately need to know how fleeting my life is! In the whole scheme of things, it is really just a breath, a small blip on an endless screen. God certainly values it or He would not have sent His only son to die for my life. But, the goings on of my day-to-day life are so trivial in light of eternity. Sometimes I feel like I am not capable of fully grasping this world and this life of mine for what it is. In my humanness, it is all I know...the here and now. Sometimes I get so wrapped up in it that I live as though this life is EVERYthing. My current struggles, even if they were to greatly multiply, will seem small when I get my first glimpse of eternity. I think it's interesting that David prayed for the ability to wrap his head around the big picture so that his stressful situation would not seem so overwhelming.

Surely for nothing they are in turmoil; man heaps up wealth and does not know who will gather! And now, O Lord, for what do I wait? My hope is in you.
My good friend was here for a few days and we had a long discussion about banking our hopes in things on this earth. She gave the example of something simple, getting seriously distraught over a delayed flight. I gave the example of how I imagined life would be by the time I was 30 and how differently it has played out in some respects. I placed my hope in an idealistic and unrealistic fantasy and have found myself distresed over the fact that it didn't work out like that. A while back, a wise older woman I know told me something that has really stuck with me- at 60-something, she thought she would have "arrived". "You don't ever arrive in this life," she said. What a good reminder! "A man plans his way, but the Lord directs his steps" Proverbs 16:9.

I am mute, I do not open my mouth, for it is you who have done it. Remove your stroke from me; I am spent by the hostility of your hand. When you discipline a man with rebukes for sin, you consume like a moth what is dear to him; surely all mankind is a mere breath! (Psalm 39)
I would have to do a more in-depth study of this scripture to really say for sure what it was talking about, but at first glance this seemed so perfect for me to hear right now! Perhaps the stress and difficulty we are facing is truly a discipline from God for our sin, or at least a testing He's allowed for our growth. In either case, when it happens, it absolutely consumes like a moth that what it most dear to us! I have seen the things I valued, but didn't know I valued, destroyed altogether or at least taken away in a sense. I have realized that what has been dear to me has NOT been God. I am learning how valuable He is and how fleeting everything else is!