Contentment

Proverbs 14:30
A heart at peace gives life to the body, but envy rots the bones.

Proverbs 23:4-5
Do not wear yourself out to get rich; have the wisdom to show restraint. Cast but a glance at riches, and they are gone, for they will surely sprout wings and fly off to the sky like an eagle.

Proverbs 30: 7-9
Two things I ask of you, O Lord; do not refuse me before I die: Keep falsehood and lies far from me; give me neither poverty nor riches, but give me only my daily bread. Otherwise, I may have too much and disown you and say, 'Who is the Lord?' Or I may become poor and steal, and so dishonor the name of my God.

I have struggled most of my life with contentment. I am the one who walks through furniture stores and picks up every real estate pamphlet to get a better grasp on what exactly it is I cannot have. My hair is never long enough or healthy enough or even enough, and the color is never quite right. Our car is not new or roomy enough, our home is too old and uninviting. My husband is not handy, my baby is not low-maintenance, the weather is not ideal, etc. etc. etc. Seems there is always something I can find to be disatisfied with. Although I don't come out and say it, I assume I think subconsciously that a different environment, a different body, a different financial situation, etc. would make me happier or at least more effective and peaceful.
I can see how God has been shaping me in this area over the last few years when money has been so tight. I have had periods when I've done quite well accepting our current situation and embracing it for what it is, but then there are periods when I am tired of being positive and I decide instead to fret and pout. Why can't we take vacations like everyone else? Why can't I ever get a massage or get my hair done a regular basis? Why do I have to shop at discount stores instead of the high-quality ones? Why don't we have a downpayment for a better house saved up? Why can't we go out to eat with everyone else? I begin to think that I am entitled to these things and more and that any deprivation of them is some sort of injustice! But, God never promised the excessive luxuries I have come to expect. He promised to care for me and provide for me, but I must remember that this may not play out exactly how I picture it in my head. God has ALWAYS made good on His promises to see us through, and that's the bottom line.
It is my prayer that I learn to not only be satisfied with the bare essentials, but to not even desire more than that. I don't want to be so in love with the STUFF and the status of this life that I forget to love God above all else. I want my boys to grow up observing a woman who was content in any circumstance, as long as she had God and who found her delight in HIM and the more meaningful things in life, like my family and friends. I want to be a woman that glorifies God for His provisions, whether they be minimal in the world's eyes or whether he chooses to pour out lavishly on us.