On Your Baby Brother

This is a letter, one of many, I have written to Ben. Most are meant for him to read as a young man, but some are directed at him now and are more for my sake, I think.

Ben, we’ve known for a while now that you will be having a brother in a couple months. We’ve decided to name him Cody. My heart is overjoyed at the thought of having another baby boy to devote myself to. You truly made my first mothering experience such a wonderful one, that my expectations are through the roof! It’s interesting to think about what he might be like and look like. He’ll have some of your traits, I’m sure, but he’s bound to be a very unique individual and different from you in many ways. Being handed the incredible gift of my two little boys is something I cannot begin to describe.
Still, I have ached over some things that will surely happen when another baby arrives. So far, for a year and a half, it has been dad, me, and you. We spend a lot of one-on-one time with you and all you know so far is the undistracted attention of your parents. You are a cuddly and needy little sweetheart, always wanting to be close to us and not too pleased when our attention is elsewhere or when we have to leave you for a little while. That tells me two things. One, you will benefit from learning to share your things and your time with someone else. And, two, this will be a difficult transition for you. I must admit, it will be difficult for me, too. I love doting on you and giving myself to you whenever you need it. I have loved our time together alone, when at the drop of a hat, we can go outside or go for a ride or read a book or just sit down together and snuggle up. It’s been great and I realize that I will only have that with one of my children- you. From now on, my time will be divided between multiple kids.
As much of a special blessing this stage has been with you, it will be changing. Life always changes, that is natural and good. I remember being pregnant with you and thinking much of the same way about losing my alone time with your dad. For years of dating and a long stretch of our early marriage, our free time was only spent on one another and the prospect of sharing it with an additional person was exciting, but concerning. I found out, though, that you did not push us further apart, but united us in a much deeper and significant way. You made us a family, not just a couple. Cody will make us a bigger, better family. The love and devotion I have always had for you will not change, even though our circumstances will. I have learned that God gives us an ability to love as many people as we want and as deeply as we want, there is no limit. In other words, I can love you with all my heart and also love your dad and Cody with all my heart at the same time.
One thing I wish I could communicate with you right now is that when you are frustrated because I cannot put the baby down and play toys with you or when we have to stay inside with the baby when you’d much rather go outside, you must remember that you are loved so much. You are my treasure now and forever and that will not be compromised one iota through any of this. When we are forced to sacrifice for someone else, we grow and we please God. Pretty soon, you will have a new playmate and will be thankful for him.